From time to time creating ART is a huge strugle. Nothing seems to be going right. Every painting I make is horrible and I don’t like it at all. Then I think why!! For god sake, why do I even bother at all!
Every PAINTING is now just anoying. Then again I really hate drawing. Of course I do LOVE being creative, but lots of times it is a big fight and huge challenge.
For example I keep on staring at my CANVAS for ages and I cannot see what is actually wrong with it. In the meanwhile I am thinking if I can change it, or does it need to go now.
Should I just start all over, or not? Finally I continue to paint and in the end it is still a horrible painting. Although all endings are also beginnings, we just don’t know it at the time according to Mitch Albom, BUT when I paint this quote isn’t helping.
On the other hand once in a while everything falls at its place. From time to time I LOVE to draw and create something new. After all when I am making ART, I am in another UNIVERSE.
In fact when everything goes really well, creating new ARTWORK is for me a kind of meditation. In other words being creative can be for me as well forgeting my troubles and feeling really GREAT.
When I paint and everything goes easy, I don’t have to think or worry. Creating new ARTWORK can be also for me like reading a great book, seeing a wonderfull movie, being in a beautiful landscape, visiting a museum with lovely art, or swimming in a dark blue sea. Not only creating new art can calm me down, but also bring me in a state of mind that I can compare with doing YOGA.
To put it differently creating art doesn’t have anything to do with my mind and yet it does. The art making proces is just finding the right balance between hart and mind.
In an ideal situation I am in a flow and than I paint amazing PAINTINGS. Suddenly I am mesmerised when I look at my own artwork. What I just painted is a masterpiece and I LOVE what I see now. In a word I LOVE LOVE LOVE painting now! In short I can’t believe that I am such a talent!
At the same time I can have doubts about the painting and I need more time to look at it. As a matter of fact sometimes I see the same beautyful painting a year later and than I think that painting is really awful.
Whenever a painting needs improvement I am thinking does it need to change or not, does it need more white or only more COLOR? To begin with I don’t know what to do and I can’t make up my mind. Can I safe the ARTWORK or will I ruin it finally? This uncertainty can take days, months or years and yet it will never be a great painting ever.
When I continue to work on a painting it suddenly pays of. But sometimes it just doesn’t work at all and I have to start all over. To repeat it just isn’t going to happen, that the painting is like it should be.
In the end I can’t safe the painting now! Therefore I paint the ugly painting all over with white paint and start finally all over again.
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